| EDUCATION |
| 2006-2008 | PhD in nanomolecular parasites in multidimensional spaces, MIT |
| 2005-2006 | Diploma in bird watching, Limassol Zoo |
| 2002-2005 | PhD in International Law, Harvard |
| 2000-2002 | MA in Tzatziki preparation, Cyprus College |
| 1998-2001 | MBA, London School Of Economics |
| 1996-1998 | BSc in sewage biodegradation, Athens Polytechnic |
| 1989-1996 | First class honours in clubbing, Ibiza tourist resourt |
| EMPLOYMENT HISTORY |
| 1998-2007 | Secretary General of the United Nations |
| 1997-1998 | Roadie for The Rolling Stones |
| 1996-1997 | Waiter, KFC restaurant |
| 1991-1996 | President of the Republic of Cyprus |
| 1989-1991 | Footballer, Barcelona CF |
| 1988-1989 | Explorer in Sahara desert, assessing psychiatric illness in camels |
| 1986-1988 | Oxford University, Dean of Students |
| 1983-1986 | Basketball player, Chicago Bulls |
| 1982-1983 | CEO Microsoft |
| 1979-1982 | Secret Agent 007 |
| 1972-1979 | Catwalk model, YSL |
| 1966-1972 | Music producer, Led Zeppelin |
| 1929-1966 | Molecular biologist, discovered the DNA |
| 1926-1929 | Alexander Fleming labs, discovered penicillin |
| 400-1925 | Freelance explorer, discovered America, Australia and North Pole |
| 200BC-400AC | Freelance inventor, re-invented the wheel |
| 300BC-200BC | Chief scientific partner to Archimedes |
| 8000BC-300BC | Freelance inventor, invented the wheel |
| MILITARY SERVICE |
| 1996-1997 | Gulf War |
| 1989-1994 | Star Wars |
| 1968-1969 | Vietnam |
| 1957-1959 | Cuban revolution |
| 1939-1945 | Second World War |
| 1096-1185 | Crusader to the Holy Land |
| 480BC | Battle of Salamis |
| PRIZES AND AWARDS |
| 2004 | 41 gold medals in swimming, Athens Olympics |
| 1996 | FIFA player of the year |
| 1988 | Medicine Nobel Prize |
| 1986 | Tour de France winner |
| 1985 | Playmate of the year |
| 1983 | NBA rookie of the year |
| 1979 | Paris-Dakar rally winner |
| 1975 | Platinum Music Disc for producing Bohemian Rhapsody |
| 1974 | Oscar for leading role in Godfather II |
| 1973 | Wimbledon Champion |
| 1971 | Prom Queen |
| 1968 | Fast typing award, 2nd congress of blond secretaries |
| 1942 | Peace Nobel Prize |
| 2 stars in spelling test, 4th grade, elementary school |